I recently wrote a blog post discussing insecurities as well as exposing some of mine. This form of content is essential to me and my blog. I’m aware that social media allows us to share our lives through images and recently I’ve started branching out into more editorial-style content. This means, my content is relatively picture perfect. I know it’s not what I’ve always done, but it has allowed me to be very creative. I love taking photos and even though I’m in front of the camera, I get to creatively direct as well.
This has led to a few of you e-mailing me about certain things I’d like to openly discuss here on the blog. First, I’d like to express that I truly value these e-mails as they mean the world to me. I also admire the honesty you all expressed in them. To me, I can only be a better person and blogger by acknowledging what you guys write. Even if sometimes it can get uncomfortable. After all, if you don’t struggle or feel uncomfortable, you probably aren’t facing the problem and growing.
Some of you mentioned my changing “bosom”. No, I have not done anything to my chest, and I never will. Surgery freaks me out and I have no patience to enhance my body in a way to look different. I have never had large breasts, and personally, am happy with them being small. As they say, I am part of the “itty bitty titty committee”. I am proud of that!
I do get some comments here and there encouraging me to get my boobs done, and let me tell you now, it’s never gonna happen. Maybe when I have kids, I’ll lift them, but until then, I don’t feel the need to alter them permanently.
I am aware in some photos they appear larger. Why? I recently discovered the Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra. This thing is MAGIC. It makes me look like I have some major boob-action and it’s fun to wear. So yes, in some images, my chest may appear enhanced, but it’s all the bra. It takes my double A’s and gives me a nice C. This bra is so padded, you can literally PUNCH me in the chest and I won’t feel a thing.
Another thing I’ve been asked about is what I’ve done to my face. Well, with the help of an app called Facetune, I can tell you, not a whole lot. Yes, I smooth my skin, tweak a few things here and there, but I haven’t actually altered my face that much. This apps allows you do insane things to yourself. Naturally, I’m guilty of going over-board.
Working in this industry, it’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of “perfection”. Every blogger has a “perfect” Instagram/Blog with images that are edited in a way you’d think they belong in a magazine. There are times where I’ll be editing and start picking myself apart. “Oh, my nose is too big, let me tweak it on this app”, “My skin looks so gross, let me smooth it”. I am SUPER guilty of this. Yes, it’s embarrassing to admit. Yes, I get inside my head because it’s so easy to do these quick fixes.
Unfortunately, this luxury of a tool can also start to cause harm. It makes you super critical of yourself and sometimes it even makes you feel absolutely hideous without it. I am fully aware of it’s effects therefore I feel I am at an advantage to minimize my use of it, because it doesn’t set a good example.
I work with a lot of young girls at the community mental health center and the biggest struggle is comparing themselves to girls on social media. This becomes a massive reality check for me. I never want to be that girl who people look at think is “perfect”. I am not. I see how creating a false image can be misleading. I don’t think I over-tweak myself where I no longer look myself, but I definitely don’t look as “smooth and shiny” in real life. Not many people do. And that’s OKAY.
I will now try to minimize my use of these apps in order to go back to a more natural and authentic image of myself. Unless my photos are edited by my photographer, I will do my best to limit the over-tweaking.
With that being said, I also have no problem to admit what I HAVE done to myself. I just turned 31 in January and have been noticing the changes in the skin for the last few years. One of my biggest issues was my crows feet. For me, because I do so much photo and video, I recently did Botox. Not a lot. I’m not at the point where I need to put 70 units on my face, but I did a small amount to smooth it all out. This is something you can’t really tell in photos, or really in person. It’s too slight of a change.
I did do a small amount of fillers on my cheeks a while ago, 1/2 a syringe on each side (which is nothing). This disappeared within a month because my body absorbed it so quickly. I have done my lips once…about 3 years ago. This also dissolved super quickly. I do have naturally large lips, but of course, in pictures at times (particularly selfies), I will tweak with FaceTune my upper lip. My left side is very slightly lower than the right. You can’t even tell in person, but because I see it, I imagine everyone else will. This is my own insecurity.
But all in all, there really isn’t anything recent that is truly noticeable in REAL life, that is done. I don’t want you guys to think I’m over here injecting every month, going under the knife every couple of months, etc. I am not.
I promise to edit myself LESS in order to keep the authenticity of Le Fashion Monster. This is the most important element of my blog.
I encourage any and all feedback from you guys because it helps me stay inspired and shows me that it’s okay to just be me and that you don’t need to see everything being so “perfect”.
So, I hope this blog post puts some of the rumors the rest and helps you understand that I’m only human. I can get caught up in the this world and with my own insecurities at times as well. But, it doesn’t change the fact that I still believe in accepting yourself, flaws and all. If you do want to change things of yourself, I always say, do it in an app because you mess yourself up for real! That’s my best piece of advice. Never do anything unless you TRULY feel it will be the best thing for you.
All my love,
Deniz
