At 40, I’m a single mom, a Master’s student, and a practicum student (MFT Trainee) logging clinical hours, and somehow I still have to remember what’s for dinner. Balancing motherhood, grad school, and work isn’t something that “just happens” for me; I’ve had to become very intentional about how I manage my time, energy, and attention every single day. It’s was a challenge, and I cried, a lot, broke down, a lot, but I found my village and kept getting up, but the biggest challenge I overcame was asking for help. This is includes, asking myself for help.
If you’re a busy mom in school or working full-time, you probably know the feeling of being pulled in a hundred directions at once. For me, the only way it works is to treat my priorities, my child, my education, my career, and my self-care, as non-negotiable parts of my schedule instead of “extras” I’ll get to someday. It’s not selfish, it’s our well being.
Photography: BEN STALEY
Time Management as a Single Mom in Grad School
People ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?” The truth is: I don’t do it all. I do what matters most for this season of life, and I protect those things with structure and boundaries.
I think of my week in blocks: time for my practicum and school, time for my daughter, time for home tasks, and time for me. I loosely “theme” my days, so some days are heavier on coursework, some on practicum, and some on home and family, this helps reduce decision fatigue and keeps me from constantly feeling behind, which can be a huge motivational block.
What makes it easier is deciding in advance what each block is for. When I sit down to do schoolwork, I’m doing just schoolwork. When I’m in mom mode, I try to be fully there. I don’t always get it perfect, but the intention matters.
My Non-Negotiable Self-Care: 3 Days of Pilates
The biggest mindset shift I’ve made is this: I am allowed to be a priority in my own life. My body carries me through long days of practicum, studying, and parenting, and it deserves care.
That’s why I commit to 45 minutes of Pilates, three days a week. Those 45 minutes are not “optional” if I have time, they are booked into my week like an appointment I can’t cancel. This is my time to build my mind, spirit, body, and strength. It keeps me grounded, improves my mood, and helps me show up as a more patient mom and more focused student.
If Pilates isn’t your thing, your version might be yoga, walking, strength training, or stretching by a YouTube video in your living room. The key is consistency, not perfection. You don’t need a spa day, you need a realistic, repeatable routine that honors YOU.
A 30-Minute Reset Before Pickup: Turning Off “Student Brain”
One small habit has made a huge difference in how I show up for my daughter: I give myself a 30-minute pause before I pick her up. At some point in the afternoon, I sit outside with no technology, no laptop, no phone, no emails.
In that window, I let my “student, advisory board leader, cleaning and organizing” mind rest. I’m not planning assignments, mentally re-writing emails, or reorganizing my to-do list. I’m just breathing, looking around, and letting my nervous system come down a few notches.
This doesn’t magically erase stress, but it does create space between my roles. When I walk into “mom time,” I’m less distracted and less reactive. A lot of my pressure is internally created—self-imposed expectations of being the perfect mom, student, and professional. That 30 minutes is my reminder that I’m human, and that being present with my daughter matters more than checking one more box.
Our Nighttime Gratitude Ritual: Mindful Parenting in Real Life
Every night, before we settle down with a book for bedtime, my daughter and I have a tiny ritual. We take a few slow breaths together, then spend about 2–5 minutes talking about the most special parts of our day and saying what we’re thankful for.
It’s simple, but powerful. It helps us connect on a deeper level and teaches her to notice good moments, not just the hard ones. It also lets me model emotional awareness and gratitude instead of just lecturing about “having a good attitude.” This is my parenting style: lead by example, not just by rules.
Is it always easy? No. Some nights she’s tired, I’m drained, or the day has been rough. But in the long run, these small, consistent practices teach patience, communication, and self-regulation. I’d rather work with her on understanding her feelings and behavior than expect her to magically know what “appropriate” reactions look like.
Why This Kind of Balance Is Hard—But Worth It
Balancing motherhood, higher education, and practicum hours as a single mom is deeply challenging. There are days when the schedule falls apart, the laundry piles up, and the imposter syndrome in grad school feels loud. But the systems I’ve created, Scheduled self-care, intentional pauses, and nightly connection, help me come back to myself and to my daughter.
If you’re a working or studying mom reading this, here’s what I want you to hear: you don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to wait until your degree is done or your kids are older to start taking care of yourself. Start with one small, realistic habit—a walk, a journal page, a five-minute gratitude practice, and treat it as seriously as any appointment. Your well-being is not separate from your success as a mom or student; it’s the foundation of it.
I’ve learned that no time management system, color‑coded planner, or productivity hack matters as much as one thing: my village. The people who show up for me and my daughter, emotionally, practically, and sometimes just by listening—are the real reason I can keep moving toward my degree without burning out.
For a long time, I thought I had to do everything on my own to prove I was strong and capable. Now I know that strength is actually letting yourself be supported. My village looks like trusted friends who can do a last-minute pickup, classmates who share notes when practicum runs late, other moms who trade venting and validation, and the one or two people I can text when I’m crying in the car between roles.
What feels “magical” about a village isn’t that life suddenly gets easy, it’s that you stop feeling alone in it. Having people who get it makes the load feel lighter, even when nothing on your to-do list changes. You’re witnessed, held, and reminded that you’re more than just what you’re juggling.
I honestly believe a village is one of the most essential parts of being human. We’re not meant to parent, heal, learn, or grow in isolation. The more I let people in, the more I see that connection is a form of self-care, too.
I’ll be sharing a full blog next week all about how I found and built my own village, what’s worked, what hasn’t, and how you can start creating one even if you feel like you don’t have anyone right now.